Where do I begin? I’ve been avoiding writing because I know that the feelings I have are so negative. I guess I won’t worry about how people will perceive it and just let it all out.
I am currently in the process of healing from the breakup with my ex. Technically we broke up in March of last year and I don’t want to give this topic too much attention so I’ll just say that I held on longer than I should have and it all blew up in my face. This heartbreak is one of the most devasting things that I have ever experienced. I have no choice but to focus on my healing, or I just won’t make it. I’m not totally impressed with the way I’ve been handling the separation. If I don’t make plans for the day, or have work to do, I just don’t have the motivation to get out of bed and I have lost my appetite. I eat out of necessity and not desire once a day. Things really got bad when I attempted to reach out and called about 50 times and he blocked me. To say I felt low would be an understatement. I’m just tryna pick the pieces back up of my life.
In this time of reflection, I have realized that if I spent more time actively pursuing my purpose I wouldn’t feel as depressed. I believe the combination of the heartbreak plus not being fulfilled at my job is simply not a good combination for my mental stability.
So that’s the update of my life. It’s not a lot but I had to force myself to write. I know that writing is a talent of mine, but to sit and unload… I don’t know, I just wasn’t ready for it. But I’m glad I forced myself to do it. I do feel better and I hope that whatever I’m going through or write can help someone else…
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