I was hired to work for CMS at the end of January. In that time I have worked as a 6th grade ELA teacher.
Today, I had a meeting with my admin team about whether I would be returning in the fall. Their conclusion was that I could reapply for a 7th grade position since they have found someone else to teach 6th grade in the fall. “Someone better suited who can teach the EC portion of students.” I’m sending prayers to that individual now.
When they told me I could have an interview for the 7th grade ELA position, I sat in bewilderment. I’ve taught 11th, 7th, and now 6th grade ELA and they want me to apply for a 7th grade position? No one here feels like I’m good enough to come back without having to reapply?
My principal’s statement was that “he hadn’t seen enough to make that call.” I replied, “and there aren’t other people you can ask? What about my evaluations? Or again, all the people that have visited my room and left favorable reviews?” I stated that I felt I’ve made a significant impact on my team and since my arrival til now, I believe our team has improved significantly. Still he responded, “I haven’t seen enough.”
Yall. My spirit would not let me sit there a minute longer. I quietly gathered my things and on my way out told them I would not be reapplying.
I’m not even gonna use this time now to list all that I’ve done or the value I bring to my workspace. Nah. I’m so confident in my abilities and gifts that I’d let my silence, actions, and where I’m headed next speak for itself. I’m writing this letter to say “thank you,” to my admin team for helping me make that decision. I needed something to push me out of comfort zone. I had been praying incessantly for direction and boy, did they help make a decision.
I’m so grateful I’ve been on this journey of knowing who I am. I’m so grateful that I’ve learned to see my value and my worth.
Of course, there is more to the story and ultimately I feel they want a subordinate to exploit and not someone who speaks up for themselves and the students. I’m too much for certain environments and that’s okay. To be honest, I feel like my previous interactions with the admin had more to do with that decision than my abilities. They don’t want someone who thinks for themselves— they want someone who shuts up and does what they are told. And I could never be that person.
I will finish my school year off being the light that I usually am for my students. With my students is where my heart lies.
Imma keep showing up, smiling with my music bumping every morning like I usually do. I know that the energy I bring to spaces is magnetic, joyful, and healing. And for whatever reason, these traits combined with my knowledge and my ability to speak up can unfortunately attract hate as well.
Luckily, I’ve gone through many experiences of rejection. It all makes sense in retrospect.
My healing these days is rapid.
I’m speaking on my experiences because teachers go through a bunch of shit and we’re expected to just take it in silence. Nope. That I’ll never do.
Thank you again to my admin team for helping me close the door to make room for something bigger and better. You are truly appreciated.
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