February 13, 2024
Today, I woke up without the motivation to tackle anything. After my morning UberEats shift, I returned home and allowed myself some much-needed rest, only to be greeted by unsettling dreams during my nap. As I awoke, I reminded myself to take things one step at a time. There are tasks on my to-do list that I consistently push aside, believing they hold the potential to change my life, yet I struggle to muster the desire to tackle them, including this very act of writing. Although writing comes naturally to me, I find myself procrastinating, likely due to my tendency to overcomplicate tasks and become fixated on future outcomes.
The pressure I impose on myself for my creations to be financially lucrative inhibits my creative flow, leaving me feeling stuck. Even the simple act of sitting down at my computer feels like a monumental feat. However, I’ve come to realize that allowing myself to acknowledge and process my emotions is the first step toward regaining clarity. Despite feeling overwhelmed by the multitude of aspirations I have – from growing my YouTube channel to making a living from my music – I’m uncertain if a career in music is truly what I desire. While music brings me joy, the thought of navigating the additional content creation required for success is daunting.
I recognize the importance of prioritizing my craft, whether it’s through vocal practice, songwriting, or honing my production skills. While other forms of content creation serve as avenues for self-expression and connection, they should complement rather than overshadow my musical pursuits. By embracing a structured approach to content creation and maintaining consistency, I trust that my efforts will eventually yield results.
Despite the challenges and occasional bouts of self-doubt, I feel a sense of lightness knowing that I remain committed to my dreams. Tuning into my emotions allows me to reaffirm that I am on the right path, even when uncertainty looms large.
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