2/21/2024
Reflecting on my past journals, I began questioning whether following my instincts has always led me down the right path. This realization scared me because I’ve always believed in trusting myself and that the decisions I make are for my highest good, even if they’re perceived as “bad.” I’ve tried not to label them as such but as choices with consequences from which to learn. I acknowledge that all situations can lead to growth.
Tom Bilyeu and Robert Greene recently discussed this concept in “Escape Mediocrity: Social Media, Porn, and Laziness are Worse Than You Think!” Greene shares similar sentiments as me, believing in the idea of fate. Bilyeu, on the other hand, rejects the notion of fate to maintain control. I believe they work together, and each individual must determine what outlook works best for them.
I trust that my decisions are guiding me where I’m supposed to be, knowing that as I evolve, I become better at making choices. Reflecting on past relationship choices, I recognize how societal ideals influenced me. I was driven by the idea of having someone to love me and made decisions with people who couldn’t give me that. These experiences have allowed me to explore my beliefs and desires, uncovering subconscious programming that shaped my decisions. I take responsibility for my actions and I am now at a point where being with someone is not a priority. While I’ve often pursued love from a place of needing validation, I’m now choosing to prioritize myself. I’ve learned to trust actions over words and to avoid seeking completion through others. This shift isn’t fueled by bitterness but by a desire for inner peace and self-commitment. I’m learning from these experiences, recognizing that external circumstances reflect inner growth opportunities.
In terms of my career, I refuse to settle for safety and unhappiness. Despite struggles, I’m determined to pursue my dreams with courage and resilience. Overthinking decisions has been a recurring challenge, rooted in fear and self-doubt. It’s time to simplify and fully commit to my passions, particularly music, which I envision as a central part of my future.
I am planning on returning to the school system– this time to teach elementary. I grappled back and forth with whether this decision was in alignment with my long-term goals. However, I am tired of warring within myself and I am making peace that these passions can coexist and complement each other. I plan to hyperfocus on creating content while maintaining a connection to teaching for stability and growth. Teaching also helps me to stay connected to the community and I do believe it has a place in my purpose.
I am committed to my vision, embracing the journey with gratitude and resilience. Success lies in focused attention and consistent action, which I am now prioritizing with renewed determination.
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