I love Instagram because of the quotes and beautiful pictures of the black women that I get to see. I remember in elementary I started a BLACK WOMEN’S MAGAZINE (also referred to as BWM) where I drew pictures of black women with different outfits and hair-do’s. I imagined them vividly in my head and did my best to duplicate my vision onto paper. I told myself I wanted to create a magazine for black women and somehow along the way I forgot about that vision. It wasn’t until I quit my job and really started exploring again what makes me thrive that that memory came back to me. It wasn’t until my man asked me “why not do photography?” That I remembered it was a passion once. It wasn’t until I heard Steve say “Your gift is what you do with the least amount of effort,” that I thought about utilizing my hands again for doing hair and then allowing that gift to open doors for me elsewhere.
You see life and the society teaches people to find a “good job,” to pick one role that they wanna do and do it well. Talent and love for something most times is talked out of you for something more logical and with a better job outlook by 2020 (10 years ago). Understanding that there is also fluidity in what I choose to do as an occupation and that I do not have to stick to just one role. And that I am NOT that role, it’s just something I do.
Once other people’s logic started to influence me as I child, I quickly began to mold myself to someone who I felt had it together— my aunt. She had the talent to dance and sing very well, but instead chose to become a nurse. I too decided that this was my dream too (because being an artist was too farfetched). I went to school as a pre-nursing major. I would change my major a total of FIVE times and leave for two semesters to attend Cosmetology school before I would decide on African American and Diaspora Studies (another hard thing about choosing a major was that I enjoy being a student and learning about pretty much anything of interest). It was the best decision that I made in my life because the content resonated with my spirit. When I graduated, I stayed out of school for one semester before I was enrolled in grad school for the fall of 2016. Again, school was a spiritual experience. My ideas where challenged, I was stretched, depressed, happy, but most of all, I was surrounded by other black academics with different views and engaged in spiritual dialogue on a daily. I miss that. But academia is definitely a space where insanity thrives and one has to be strong to survive it.
I graduated and then began the insanity of job searching (I was depressed and did not give it much energy). Long story short, I ended up hired as an 11th grade English teacher by the end of September. The first year was hell and I spent the entire summer wondering if I should go back… I lasted not even two months into the new semester… I turned in my resignation Oct. 7 and I am currently working through my 30 days. It was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done, but it was also one of the most freeing. I feel like whatever I make of my life from this point on, it is because of me— not because I chose to follow everyone else.
Nashema's Blog 