Here

I want to do so much.

But can I just be here. Present with you. Without another task to do.

How am I glowing when I feel like I’m constantly being buried alive?

I just keep growing.

Dust myself off and bathe,

Warm showers,

Cleanse.

I dress.

I take my time.

I sit and lotion my skin.

$400 left in my account.

I feel the pressure.

I mold and shape and apply to jobs.

I sit, knowing.

Knowing that I am doing my part.

I’m juggling all the parts.

And sometimes I just stop.

And pick them back up later only to see that nothing fell off.

The world kept spinning. So many ideas.

A dream deferred.

I am doing my part.

Dreams no longer denied.

But living is expensive. A luxury.

And dreams? I dream them, but against “the dream” and the media’s idea of success, it can all feel… elusive.

I’m in a place to dream but there’s all this pressure to “make it.” There’s pressure to have it “all come together.” But I shouldn’t have to earn the basics.

Food, shelter, water, the vision self-actualized–

A world where dreaming and becoming is easy because our basic needs are covered.

I am fortunate to be in this position.

And while everything can’t get completed at once, I’m in a season where I can move so much forward.

I want freedom. Not earned but guaranteed.

An inalienable right.

I’m privileged because of my family. Grateful. But I still feel it.

I’m in this place, I’m moving forward, I am here,

but I still feel the pressure.

At this moment, today, everything is fine.

Time.

I feel like I’m racing against time.

Afraid that I’m not moving fast enough.

But this is life now. Embrace it.

Slow down.

Feel the moment.

Share it.

It is all purposeful. Where I am. I can embrace it.

I can take up space.

There’s no blueprint.

No right or wrong way.

Just be here now.

Embrace the tasks, the new experiences, the people.

Don’t be afraid to shine.

To be loud,

To be sad,

To laugh,

This is life.

Embrace what comes,

How do you handle it?

What will you say?

I refuse to lay down and let life make me feel like I have no voice

I mount the ride

I stand tall

Refusing to keep quiet any longer